I want to wish everyone a Healthy, Happy Valentine's Day!
The week we were exploring the concepts of forgiveness and acceptance in our Tai Chi practice.
If you try hard enough, your Tai Chi will never be perfect
If perfection is what you seek from Tai Chi training, you are barking up the wrong tree. Perfection is a perceived view and has nothing to do with reality. Nothing is perfect. NOTHING. In nature, true perfection lives within the imperfections. A fresh spring leaf is beautiful. It is seemingly symmetrical but if you look close enough it is very asymmetrical. Does this knowledge make it less beautiful to you? I hope not. As deep as you go in Tai Chi training you will never find perfection. Nature, like Tai Chi, obtains perfection in a simple celebration of each imperfection. When I work with a student, I am not trying to make their Tai Chi look like mine, I am trying to help them find the Tai Chi within themselves.
The true nature of things
The Tai Chi spirit is based on Taoist Philosophy, which focuses on being one with nature and accepting everything for its true nature. Trying to make an oak tree into a willow is to go against the very fabric of what makes a tree, a tree. Would it frustrate you if the tree were to disobey your request for this very challenging change; away from its true nature? What if you were to want a river to flow the other way? Would it frustrate you if it was less than cooperative? Whether you are a newbie, a seasoned veteran or somewhere in between, Tai Chi can be very frustrating. To watch Tai Chi, it looks deceptively simple, to train it is a redundant and slow
process and to truly flow in Tai Chi form takes a lot of time and focused, relaxed attention to many little details.
Do you get frustrated when you practice Tai Chi?
Tai Chi training is very much about accepting your true nature and working within those soft boundaries. In whatever stage of training we find ourselves, there are times when we are asking for more than our true nature can give. If you find yourself frustrated by something in your training, it is time to look inside and see the true source of the frustration. It lies not in your teacher, or in the shoes you choose to wear, or the noise in the next room but more in how you perceive your true nature to be. "I know I am better than this!" " I know I can learn at a faster pace than he is teaching!" My wise and wonderful teacher once told me, when you turn a "sharp angle" to the world it will turn back on you. As I meditate on this piece of advice I find myself realizing that when I have made someone upset or I am upset myself it is because I am expecting more than they can offer or that I can offer in a given situation. Learning to accept this has helped me to be more understanding and compassionate, closer to my true nature.
Acceptance, letting go and being in the moment
Because Tai Chi practice lives in the moment, if you are truly in that moment you cannot be frustrated. It is only when you try to make something happen (future) that your expectations get the best of your practice. For example: Imagine yourself consistently trying to take too big of a step, in form practice, and repeatedly losing your balance. Soon you will find yourself very frustrated, even if you perceive that you are improving your strength and balance by training in this manner. However if you accept your current nature (and strength) lives in a smaller, more stable step and allow yourself time to grow (like a tree) then you will find a deeper sense of satisfaction and the strength will come naturally, in its own time. I think this concept is one of the hardest for anyone to grasp as they begin to train in Tai Chi. It may be why many people give up on this practice before it has a chance to really prove itself.
Bigger, better, faster, more!
We live in such a fast paced life with an "I want more...NOW!" attitude that we can no longer see out true nature. Everything seems to be about the future with no regard for the present moment. My house is small, how can I get to that bigger house? That car is cool, how can I get that cool car? His Tai Chi form is really smooth and graceful; I want to be that smooth and graceful... NOW! ;-) Our entire society is based on commercialism and an external reward system. Respect, power and comfort all live with the wealthy. Where does this leave our spirit? I wonder why the incidence of alcoholism, drug use and suicide is so high among the wealthy? Personally, I feel it is because they are working against their true nature. External happiness is a house of cards that has your heart in a constant state of "expecting it to fall" where you will lose everything. If I do not teach my children anything else, I sincerely hope that they will walk into life understand that true happiness lies within their own hearts and has nothing to do with external gains.
The devil is in the details
I know I have performed the "commencement Form" for my teacher at least 1200 times over the years. Yet each time we meet I am open to the fact that he will want to see it again. Why? Because I know in my heart that he has love for me and wants me to grow in the form. So I remain open to his desire to share his knowledge with me and allow whatever pace he sets to be "just right" for me. This may seem like a passive approach to training but in fact it takes a lot of concentration, respect and love for myself and my teacher to allow this process to unfold in its true nature. Because I am fully present and open to the process, each time we meet for training he has some beautiful observations that make this simple set of movements better. Notice I did not say "Right" or "Perfect" just better; closer to my true nature.
The paths we takes in Tai Chi training may be similar but the results will be natural, imperfect and very personal; like each of us.
1 comment:
When I began training it was difficult to remember that my Tai Chi would never be perfect. When I would see seasoned "Tai Chi-ers" Their movements and spirit look like perfection. I had to remind myself that Tai Chi is so much more then what you see on the outside. You do a great job telling your students that they will never be perfect in a very positive and very un-hurtful way. That takes talent. :)
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